Funny movie quotes from Road to Utopia

Road to Utopia starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour

Funny movie quotes from Road to Utopia starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour

[Chester has the hiccups]
Duke (Bing Crosby): Can’t you suppress it somehow?
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): Frighten me.
Duke (Bing Crosby): I can’t, I haven’t got a mirror.

Duke (Bing Crosby): Experience is the best teacher.
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): Oh, experience is the best teacher, huh?
Duke (Bing Crosby): Naturally, and I’m a Ph.D.

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): I’ll have a lemonade.
[sees looks of surprise, snarls]
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): In a dirty glass.

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): Am I dead?
Duke (Bing Crosby): I can’t tell, you always look that way.

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): Yeah? Well, I ain’t afraid to die. I just hate being killed, that’s all.

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): As far as I’m concerned, this picture’s over right now.

[Duke loses a talent show to a trained monkey]
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): [to Duke] Next time I bring Sinatra.

Sal Van Hoyden (Dorothy Lamour): [singing] You wouldn’t dare be too bold, would you? And think that my hand was to hold, would you? And you wouldn’t play on my sympathy, then take advantage of me … would you? You shouldn’t be quite so near, should you? Or whisper those words in my ear, should you? You can’t get romantic; that, you know, takes two. But darling, if I would … would you?

Duke (Bing Crosby): Chester, you’d better face it – the cards say “Alaska!”
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): No wonder – it’s a cold deck!

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): If those hoodlums ever get off that boat, we’ll be smiling ear to ear … with our throats!

Sal Van Hoyden (Dorothy Lamour): Don’t be facetious!
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): [confused] Oh, keep politics out of this!

Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): [Hope is driving Crosby along on a dog sled, and he raises his arms] Look Ma, no hands.
Duke (Bing Crosby): Look Ma, no teeth.
Chester Hooton (Bob Hope): Please, my sponsor. [his radio sponsor was Pepsodent Toothpaste]

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