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Funny movie quotes from Oliver the Eighth starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch

Funny movie quotes from Oliver the Eighth

Funny movie quotes from Oliver the Eighth starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Mae Busch


Stan Laurel: [reading newspaper] Listen to this… wealthy young widow with large fortune wishes to communicate with congenial young man. Object: matrimony.
Oliver Hardy: It’s probably some old crab with a face that would stop a clock! I wouldn’t want to marry her no matter how much money she had
Stan Laurel: Well, I’d marry her.
Oliver Hardy: You would!
Stan Laurel: Well, after all, beauty is only skin deep. I’d take some of the money, and I’d have her face lifted. Then I could settle down, congenial, and I wouldn’t have to scrape chins any more… wouldn’t have to work hard any more.
Oliver Hardy: Tell me that again.
Stan Laurel: Well, if beauty was only knee… skin deep, I could take some of the money… and I’d have her skinned… and she’d be able to look at a clock without having to work hard any more… and we could settle down and scrape her chin… and congenial… if I didn’t have to work hard anymore.
Oliver Hardy: That’s a good idea.


Oliver Hardy: [preparing to leave to mail the answers to the widow’s personals ad, but then noticing what appear to be some extra initials written near the bottom of Stan’s envelope] What does “P.T.O.” mean?
Stan Laurel: “Please Turn Over”.
Oliver Hardy: [turns over the envelope and sees, “S.W.A.K. X” written near the gummed flap] “Sealed With A KISS” – -[Gives his famous scrunched-eyed grimace of disgust at the silly mushiness of the message] MMFPH!


Jitters the butler: Nice weather we had tomorrow.


Mae Busch: [pointing to Stan] What is that?


Jitters the butler: [Watching Stan eat an imaginary meal] Eh eh eh! You’re using the wrong fork!
Stan Laurel: [Looks and sees that he is, in fact, holding a spoon, which he throws down in disgust] You’re nuts!
Jitters the butler: Who said I was nuts?
Stan Laurel: She did! [points to the widow]


Stan Laurel: [giving his famous shrill whistle as Jitters walks away after picking up the imaginary cards] HREEE-yer-REET! [Jitters turns and comes back]  You dropped one.
Stan Laurel: [obligingly reaches down to pick up another imaginary card] Oh – – thank you!
Oliver Hardy: [in a disgusted mocking tone] ‘You dropped one’ – – humph!


Stan Laurel: Well I couldn’t help it, I was dreaming I was awake – then I woke up and found meself asleep!

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