Funny movie quotes from Iron Man 2, starring Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson
[seeing Tony Stark, in partial Iron Man armor, sitting in a giant rooftop donut display]
Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson): Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.
Senator Stern (Gary Shandling): My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending on what state you’re in. You can’t have it.
Senator Stern (Gary Shandling) Look, I’m no expert…
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): In prostitution? Of course not, you’re a senator. Come on!
Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg): [holding up the Captain America shield] Where did you get this? Do you have any idea what this is?
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): That… is exactly what I need! [takes shield, shoves it under coil, measures with carpenter’s level]
Tony Stark: There, see? Perfectly level.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [to Nick Fury regarding “The Avengers” initiative] I told you I don’t want to join your super-secret boy band.
Natalie Rushman: I’m surprised you can keep your mouth shut.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): God, you’re good. You are mind-blowingly close to this. How do you do it? You’re a triple impostor, I’ve never seen anything like it. Is there anything real about you? Do you even speak Latin?
Natalie Rushman: Fallaces sunt rerum species.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): Which means? Wait, what did you just say?
Natalie Rushman: It means you can either drive yourself home or I can have you collected.
[Agent Coulson is left in charge of Tony]
Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg): If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch “Supernanny” while you drool into the carpet.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [reading from Natasha’s SHIELD Report on Iron Man/Tony Stark] Mr. Stark displays textbook… narcissism. [Stark stares at Nick Fury, who simply stares at him back] … Agreed.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [about Natalie Rushman] Who is she?
Pepper Potts: She is from legal and she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.
[after destroying a Hammer drone about to terminate a kid wearing an Iron Man mask]
Iron Man: Nice work, kid!
[the Senate committee tries to get Stark’s attention while he is making flirty faces with Pepper Potts]
Senator Stern (Gary Shandling) [finally getting his attention] Mr. Stark!
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): Yes, dear?
[Natalie Rushman walks in dressed as the Black Widow]
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): Huh! You’re… fired.
Natasha Romanoff: That’s not up to you.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [Puts new arc-reactor in chest piece] Wow! [burps] That tastes like coconut… and metal!
Jarvis: May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on a video with your clothing on, sir.
Tony Stark: How do you spell your name, Natalie?
Natalie Rushman: R-U-S-H-M-A-N.
Pepper Potts: What, are you Googling her now?
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): I thought I was ogling her?
Natalie Rushman: I’m going to enter the facility. [she begins to remove her dress, Happy stares at her and dodges a car] Eyes on the road.
Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg): Good luck. We need you.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): More than you know.
Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg): Not that much.
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [Dummy, the robotic arm, has made a mess at the kitchen sink] You! I swear to God, I’ll dismantle you! I’ll soak your motherboard, turn you into a wine rack!
[Dummy looks down guiltily]
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): What’s the point of owning a race car if you can’t drive it?
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): I just want to talk to you for a minute, well, make that 30 seconds…
Pepper Potts: Okay. [looks at her watch] 29, 28, 27…
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.): [to Stan Lee] Larry King! Larry!
Tony Stark: [about to shoot a watermelon] I think she wants the Gallagher!
Tony Stark: I don’t care about the liberal agenda any more, it’s boring.
