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Funny movie quotes from Forever, Darling

Funny Movie Quotes from Forever, Darling (1956) starring Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, James Mason

Susan (Lucille Ball): Why do you look like James Mason?
Angel (James Mason): Do I look like James Mason?
Susan (Lucille Ball): I should say you do!
Angel (James Mason): (admiring himself in a mirror) So I look like James Mason, do I?

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Why do you look like James Mason?
Angel (James Mason) : I look the way you want me to look.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Oh. You mean, if you were Millie’s angel you’d look like Gregory Peck?
Angel (James Mason) : That’s the idea. And if I were Larry’s angel, I should look like Ava Gardner.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : You would not! Larry’s not like other men!
Angel (James Mason) : Isn’t he?

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : I had the darnedest dream last night.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Did you? That’s very interesting.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : I dreamed, sitting at the foot of my bed was Ava Gardner and she was wearing a kind of a beautiful manteiga…

Charles Y. Bewell: What’s this you were saying about Ava Gardner?
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Oh, I dreamed about her last night.
Charles Y. Bewell: Hmmm. Nice going, boy.
Angel (James Mason) : [talking privately to Susan] Well, I can’t help it if he dreams about her. Do you remember the time you dreamed that you and I were caught in an elevator alone, between floors, and you…
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Quiet!

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : [pointing to Mr. Bewell’s cocktail] Say, I thought the doctor told you to taper off?
Charles Y. Bewell: I did. I tapered off beautifully and now I’m going through the joyous process of tapering on again.

Susan (Lucille Ball) : All right, why did she love him?
Angel (James Mason) : Because, the man with the face of a mountain goat – had the heart of an Abraham Lincoln.

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : 383 is going to make DDT look like talcum powder.

Millie Opdyke: You can’t get along with just Amy!
Susan (Lucille Ball) We get along alright with just Amy!

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz): Millie is a load of hay, a breed of cat that’s dyin’, and deserves to die.

Charles Y. Bewell: She was a sweet old thing, she had the face of a toad and the disposition of a coyote.

Susan (Lucille Ball): Oh, go smoke a test tube!

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz): [Yosemite] I think it’ll do you good.
Susan (Lucille Ball): Sure, it’ll do me great!

Susan (Lucille Ball): When you decided to leave at six o’clock in the morning, did you realize it was so early?

Susan (Lucille Ball): [mosquitoes] Seems a shame to wake them up so early just to kill ‘€˜em.

Susan (Lucille Ball): People don’t notice the clock on the wall ’till a rock hits them.

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : You mean separate bedrooms for Susan and me?
Millie Opdyke: All the better homes are built that way.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Then, we’ll never live in one of the better homes

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Separate bedrooms – it does, sort of, a lonesome way to sleep. Don’t you find it hard to fall asleep when you’re alone?
Millie Opdyke: Certainly not! You get to like it.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Oh, I don’t know. And my feet! What about my feet? You know, when they get cold, I kinda like to…Lorenzo Xavier Vega: Yeah, well, eh

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Look, I know you don’t like Henry Opdyke.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : He’s a load of hay.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : And I wish you would remember that Millie is my cousin and my closest friend.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : She’s a load of hay, too.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : She is not!
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : She’s a breed of cat that’s dyin’ and deserves to die.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : That’s a terrible thing to say. Millie is devoted to me. She’s a fine woman.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : And I’m Snow White and the Seven Dwarf

Charles Y. Bewell: The thing to remember is that in marriage the husband and wife are one – and the husband is the one.

Susan (Lucille Ball) : I know what you’re going to say, “The husband and wife are one and the husband is the one.” Look, that’s a very old fashioned idea. Why should the wife always go the husband’s way?
Angel (James Mason) : [laughs] Not always! But, in your case, there’s no other way to go.

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : It’s a beautiful world, Susan. And someday they’ll be no hunger and no struggle. Men will have time to understand each other. This thing is going to come, all right. The question is how soon? For twenty years or must it be a thousand? Never was danger in the world as great as it is today; but, never was paradise so near.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : You know something, Larry? You ought to be President of the United States!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Gee, it’s awfully dark in here.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Yes, dear.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : This is some of the darkest dark I’ve ever seen.

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Us galley slaves don’t row very well unless we’re whipped!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : If you’re going to bawl me out, bawl me out in English!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Well, that’s the thanks I get for coming along to help you!
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Help me? I would have gotten more help from a drunken kangaroo!

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : That’s the kind of remark I expect from a person who has the IQ of a moron!
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Moron?
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Yeah!
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Well, that did it! That’s the last straw. I’m going home.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Good!
Susan (Lucille Ball) : You Latin Louie Pasteur, you!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : I’ll oil my zipper!

Millie Opdyke: Well, Susan’s married. How long do you give it? He’ll never fit in with our set.
Henry Opdyke: I can’t find anything to talk to him about. He doesn’t go to the races, he doesn’t play cards, he doesn’t have any time for wom – I mean, I don’t know how he spends his afternoons.

Mr. Oliver Clinton: You’ve done a real job on the insecticide.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Thank you.
Bill Finlay: Job, my foot. To Larry, 383 is a crusade! He hasn’t been home to dinner for a month.
Mr. Oliver Clinton: We think it has great possibilities.
Bill Finlay: We think it will make DDT look like talcum powder.

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Are you going to fire our maid, Millie? You’ve already decided how Susan and I are going to sleep.

Millie Opdyke: I could die! I could just die!
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : You know something, Millie, you’re always saying that – but you never do it.

Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : Oh yes, the secret crushes on movie stars. Millie’s married to a load of hay; so, she takes it out on Robert Taylor.
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Gregory Peck!
Lorenzo Xavier Vega (Desi Arnaz) : All right, Gregory Peck, then!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Maybe I annoy you. But, let me tell you something, you annoy me too! You spilling ashes all over the place. If I didn’t trail around after you, picking up lighted cigarettes, you’d burn holes in every piece of furniture in the house!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : And this thing! [Picks up Larry’s squeezebox] Aw-he, Aw-he, Aw-he, Ah-he! It drives me crazy! You’ll never learn to play it properly. It’s a perfectly ridiculous hobby.
Lorenzo Xavier Vega: I don’t agree! Albert Einstein played the fiddle!
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Well, you’re no Einstein!

Susan (Lucille Ball) : I saw, Larry, I saw something. It wasn’t there; but, there it was. I mean it wasn’t; but, it was.

Dr. Edward R. Winter: Why are you so sure he’s an angel?
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Because, I saw him that way. I did! Because I prefer not to think of him as a man! I refuse to go about saying that there’s an extremely handsome man following me. Why, if I ever heard a woman say that, I’d know what I’d think of her! You see, I know he’s not there. I know its just something in my mind. But, if my mind insist that there’s a very attractive man running after me; why, well, it’s just comic!

Dr. Edward R. Winter: When did this hallucination occur for the first time?
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Last night.
Dr. Edward R. Winter: Where?
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Well, it, he started on the roof and then he came on into my bedroom.
[Dr. Winter smiles]
Susan (Lucille Ball) : Oh, nothing happened. He just – walked through.
Dr. Edward R. Winter: Nothing?

Susan (Lucille Ball) : Was there ever any insanity in our family?
Charles Y. Bewell: Oh, no. Not more than in most. Your Great Aunt Agatha was a suffragette and your Uncle Louie was a trifle on the jolly side.

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