Funny movie quotes from Dancing Lady starring Errol Flynn, Joan Crawford, Franchot Tone, the Three Stooges, and Fred Astaire
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn): Yes, yes, yes, the top spot. Where if you drop, you’ve got twice as far to fall. Maybe I’m a sap for trying. And maybe I can make something out of you, if you can stand up when I get through with you.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford): I’ve got good legs, Mr. Gallagher.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Yes, so I’ve noticed; but, don’t let them run away with you.
Harry – Pianist (Larry Fine): I’m the best musician in the country.
Moe – Stagehand (Moe Howard): Yeah, but how are ya in the city?
Policeman: [During a raid at the Burlesque House] Wait a minute, you… Come on up to the station house, the Lieutenant is throwing a party.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Can’t I even get some clothes!
Policeman: No, he wants you just as you are.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Oh, it’s that kind of a party!
Steve (Ted Healy): So, you took Warner, eh?
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Yeah, I know she’s not so hot, but with all the real talent going Hollywood, you’ve got to make the best of what you can get.
Steve (Ted Healy) : We’ll be down to using midgets pretty soon.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Well, work on her. Use a whip if you have to, she’s got to be loosened up by the time we open.Steve: I’ll offer her candy, maybe she likes candy.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Offer her anything, but, more money.
Jasper Bradley, Sr.: You didn’t really mean to walk out on me just for a few costumes.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Rather than send beautiful girls out in those, I’d let them go on naked.
Jasper Bradley, Jr.: You know, Papa, that’s a swell idea.
Jasper Bradley, Sr.: That’s the same idea that got you kicked out of school!
Chorus Girl #1: How’s that Barlow get to take Warner’s place?
Chorus Girl #2: Didn’t you ever hear of poisonality?
Judge: What’s your name?
Rosette Henrietta LaRue: Rosette Henrietta LaRue! Occupation: hipswinging! [the court erupts in laughter]
Judge: Now, Miss LaRue, just what constitutes a striptease?
Rosette Henrietta LaRue: A good constitution and a couple of zippers. [the court erupts in laughter again]
Judge: Don’t be ambiguous.
Rosette Henrietta LaRue: Oh, I won’t if you won’t.
[Smiles and sticks out her tougue. More courtroom laughter]
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : [to the heavy drinking Tod Newton] You sure drink a good dinner.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : What kind of a guy is Patch Gallagher, Rosie?
Rosette Henrietta LaRue: Compared to him an elephant’s hide is tissue paper, but he sure knows his stuff.
Girl with Tod: The judge will give you 15 years for what you’re thinking.
Tod Newton (Franchot Tone): It’d be worth it.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : I’m like the guy throwing quarters in the slot machine. I keep on trying.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Listen Paderewski, were them funny noises comin’ outta you or the piano?
Jasper Bradley, Jr.: You sure have got rhythm, baby.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Yeah, well, keep your hands off it.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : I milked a cow once.
Tod Newton: What kind of a cow was it? A Jersey or a Guernsey?
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : I don’t know. I didn’t see the license plate.
Steve (Ted Healy) : Wait a minute, the boss is all steamed up and this ain’t no Turkish bath.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : I don’t mix business with pleasure.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Well, it’d be a pleasure to me if you’d mind your own business.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : Yeah? Say, listen, its my business to see that you gals keep your shapes, Duchess.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : You mean to see that we don’t give ’em away.
Steve (Ted Healy) : Come on, girls. Mr. Gallagher’s waitin’.
Chorus Girl: Why don’t you knock?
Steve (Ted Healy) : What for? You ain’t got nothin’ to hide. Come on girls. Everybody.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : Not for me, Tod. I’m not thirsty.
Tod Newton: I get it. When a lady says she isn’t thirsty, she means all she can drink is Champagne cocktails.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : You ought to write a book about what women want.
Janie ‘Duchess’ Barlow (Joan Crawford) : I saw your face once, in the wings. It made me feel as if everything I was doin’ was wrong.
Patch Gallagher (Errol Flynn) : I guess I got that kind of a face.
