Funny movie quotes from DuBarry was a Lady co-starring Red Skelton and Lucille Ball, Gene Kelly, Virginia Mayo, Zero Mostel
Alec Howe (Gene Kelly): [about May Daly] Isn’t she wonderful?
Taliostra (Zero Mostel): What’s so wonderful about her? Take away her eyes, her nose, her lips, and what have you got? A blank expression.
Alec Howe (Gene Kelly): You’re human aren’t you?
May Daly (Lucille Ball): I hope not!
Ginny (Virginia O’Brien): Will nothing come of our beautiful friendship?
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Not if I have anything to say about it!
Ginny (Virginia O’Brien): Can’t you see I love you and want you for the father of my children?
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): I didn’t know you had any!
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): My boarding house is so crowded, we have to take showers piggyback.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): You remind me of one of those girls in Esquire, the ones with clothes on, of course.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Why is it the rich people have all the money?
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): My whole life I’ve been kind to dumb animals, but this is the first time a dumb animal’s been kind to me!
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Are you wearing my old suit? It’s too small for you, isn’t it?
Charlie (Rags Ragland): Nah, I’m just too far into it.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Money ain’t changed me, I’m still lovable!
Charlie (Rags Ragland): Hey, Slim! Watch your hat? Watch your derby?
May Daly (Lucille Ball): I see you want to buy me.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Gosh no, Miss Daly, I want to marry you!
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Hey everybody, guess what? May’s getting married! To me!
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Don’t talk to May like that, or I’ll slug you!
Alec Howe (Gene Kelly): Oh, yeah?
[May slaps him]
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): And there’s plenty more where that came from!
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): She’s just excited. She’s never married before.
Charlie (Rags Ragland): We’ll slip him a Rooney.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): A Rooney? What’s that?
Charlie (Rags Ragland): It’s a high-powered Mickey.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): Here’s to I, May, and you ‘ the eternal rectangle. If this was back in the glorious days of France, I would be King Louis, May would be Du Barry, and you would be one of the common folks – a peasant.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): [singing] Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la you’ve come to wash my face!
Maids: [singing in return] Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la we’ve come to wash your face!
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): Hey! Men don’t kiss men!
Dauphin (Rags Ragland): They do in France, Pop.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): What’s this?
Duc de Rigor: Your breakfast, Sire.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): Well, who eats who?
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): What’s the setup around here, am I really the King?
Dauphin (Rags Ragland): Anyone who says you ain’t, dies.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): Don’t you know that kings can do no wrong?
Madame Du Barry (Lucille Ball): That’s my plan!
Madame Du Barry (Lucille Ball): He’s mad about me!
Ginny (Virginia O’Brien): They’re all mad, about you!
Duc de Rigor: Who dares to interfere?
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): Me! My Majesty!
Black Arrow (Gene Kelly): Be brave, my friend, you’re dying for your country.
Taliostra: (Zero Mostel): Yeah, but I was born in the city!
Dauphin (Rags Ragland): Get your Daily Chopping Guide! You can’t tell which head is which without a program!
Charlie (Rags Ragland): That’s OK, he’s snapping back to abnormal now.
Ginny (Virginia O’Brien): You never look at me like that.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): You never look like that.
Alec Howe (Gene Kelly): You know, it’s too bad May couldn’t marry for love and money.
Louis Blore (Red Skelton): You mean sort of a double wedding?
Black Arrow (Gene Kelly): How embarrassing, to be found hiding behind a woman’s skirts.
Black Arrow (Gene Kelly): Du Barry! That jay! That Jezebel! That spoiler of kings!
Madame Du Barry (Lucille Ball): Isn’t he wonderful?
Black Arrow (Gene Kelly): Does she love the king? No! She loves rubies! So your children go hungry! She loves silks! So your wives go naked!
Madame Du Barry (Lucille Ball): [dreamily] Look at his eyes.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): We’ll give him a fair trial. Then we’ll hang him.
King Louis XV (Red Skelton): For parading without a license, each of you gets thirty days. For planning to knock me off, you get the guillotine.
