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Funny movie quotes from Don’t Drink the Water

Funny movie quotes from Don’t Drink the Water, a cold war comedy by Woody Allen, starring Jackie Gleason, Estelle Parsons

Funny movie quotes from Don’t Drink the Water

Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): I don’t eat oysters. You have to eat them alive. I like my food dead. Not sick, not wounded — dead!


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): Well, they don’t call me the potato salad Picasso for nothin!


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): Too much wax can be dangerous.


Commissar Krojack: Why don’t you admit that you’re a filthy American spy?
Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): Why don’t you play on the runway?


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): The Grey Fox has to pick today to kill himself! If I could get my hands on him, I’d kill him!


Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons): I think it’s marvelous that a man of the cloth has a hobby besides just God.


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): All I want is the right thing for her.
Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons): What is the right thing for her?
Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): What I tell her is the right thing!


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): I happen to be a man of few words too ‘€¦ drop dead!


Commissar Krojack: [to the gathered crowd] Tonight, there will be a spontaneous protest, type ‘b’ — follow the schedule exactly.


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!
Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons):[referring to the student protest] But Walter, they have sticks and stones!


Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): It looks like it’s all over.
Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons): God bless the brutal secret police.


Axel Magee (Ted Bessell): [referring to the bomb] It’s disarmed — you can relax, sir.
[Jackie Gleason faints]


Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons): Are you sure it’s disarmed?
Axel Magee (Ted Bessell): Absolutely. When it comes to bombs, I know what I’m doing. [throws the bomb out the window, and it explodes]
[Jackie Gleason faints]


Axel Magee (Ted Bessell): Have you ever fired a pistol?
Walter Hollander (Jackie Gleason): How often do you have a gun fight in the catering business?


Marion Hollander (Estelle Parsons): If you kill yourself, don’t come crying to me!


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