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Disorder in the Court

Funny movie quotes for Disorder in the Court (1936) starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry and Curly)

Funny movie quotes for Disorder in the Court (1936) starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry and Curly) – a hilarious classic!

[Judge is about to ask Curly if he swears to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth]
Judge: Do you swear’€¦
Curly (Curly Howard) : No, but I know all the woids.


Judge: Why don’€™t you answer him?
Curly (Curly Howard) : He’€™s tawkin’€™ pig Latin! I dunno what he’€™s sayin’€™!
Judge: He’€™s asking you if you swear…!
Curly (Curly Howard) : [cuts the judge off] No, but I know all the woids!


Curly (Curly Howard) : Well, me and my pals, we’€™re musicians. We were tearin’€™ up some hot swing music in the York Esther. Gail over there was swingin’€™ her fans. Her sweetie Koik Robin was inhalin’€™ a bottle of hooch over at a table. And a hoofer by the name of Buck Wing was gettin’€™ ready to shake his tootsies.
Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : Kindly speak English and drop the vernacular.
Curly (Curly Howard) : [Holding his Derby hat] Vernaculah? That’€™s a doiby!
Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : Drop the vernacular!
[Curly drops his hat]
Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : No, no, not that! I mean talk so the jury can understand!
Curly (Curly Howard) : Is everybody dumb?


Moe (Moe Howard) : Now Gaily’€™s dance was over. I stuck my head in the office door, and I saw Koik Robin and Buck Wing ahgyin’€™ over by the parrot cage!
District Attorney: What were they arguing about?
Moe (Moe Howard) : I dunno! But Buck Wing was sizzlin’€™ like a hot hamboiguh! He grabs Koik by the neck like that, see, and drags him over to the letter press, see?
[Demonstrates on Curly]
Moe (Moe Howard) : Then he smacks him on the head like that!
[Continues demonstration on Curly]
Moe (Moe Howard) : Then he pokes his coconut into the letter press, see? Like that! Then he says, ‘€œI’€™ll squeeze the cider outta yer Adam’€™s apple!’€ Then he gives him the woiks, like this! Then he keeps toinin! And twistin’€™! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the’€¦
[the grind of the letter press suddenly starts spinning counterclockwise, flying into the air and landing on Moe’€™s head]


Moe (Moe Howard) : I say, Jasper, what comes after seventy-five?
Larry (Larry Fine) : Seventy-six!
Moe (Moe Howard) : That’€™s the Spirit!


Judge: Take the stand.
Curly (Curly Howard) : [picks the chair up] Where’€™ll I put it?
Judge: No, no, take the stand!
Curly (Curly Howard) : I got it! Now what’€™ll I do with it?
Court clerk: [angrily sets it back down] SIDDOWN!


Curly (Curly Howard) : I’€™m a victim of circumstance.


[Curly is taking the oath]
Court Clerk: Take off your hat.
[Curly takes off his hat with his right hand]
Court Clerk: Raise your right hand.
[With his right hand, Curly puts his hat back on, and raises the hand]
Court Clerk: [gesturing to the book he is holding] Put your left hand here.
Judge: [to Curly] Take off you hat.
[Curly does so with his right hand]
Court Clerk: [to Curly] Raise your right hand.
[Curly puts his hat back on to raise the hand]
Court Clerk: [gesturing to the book he is holding] Now, put your left hand here.
Judge: [to Curly] Please, take off your hat.
[Curly does so with his right hand]
Court Clerk: [to Curly] Raise your right hand.
[Curly repeats the process]
Court Clerk: [gesturing to the book he is holding] Now, put your left hand here.
Judge: [to Curly] Will you please take off your hat?
[Curly does so with his right hand]
Court Clerk: [angrily, to Curly] Raise your RIGHT HAND.
[Curly repeats the process]
Court Clerk: [gesturing to the book he is holding] Now, put your left hand here.
Judge: [to Curly] Take off your hat.
[Curly takes off the hat and places it on his cane, which is in his right hand]
Court Clerk: [to Curly] Raise your right hand.
[Curly raises his cane with the hat on it]
Court Clerk: [taking the hat off the cane] Get rid of that hat.
[Curly takes the hat and puts it on the court clerk’€™s head]
Curly (Curly Howard) : [with both hands on the book] Raise YOUR right hand.
[the court clerk does so, startles, takes the hat off, and places it under the book]
Court Clerk: Raise your right hand.
[Curly does so]


Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : Mr. Howard, kindly tell the court what you know about Kirk Robbin’€™s murder.
Curly (Curly Howard) : [to the Judge] Well, it was like this, Mr. Court’€¦
Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : Address the judge as your honor.
Curly (Curly Howard) : [to the Judge] Well, it was like this, my honor’€¦
Defense attorney (Bud Jamison) : ‘€œYour honor’€. Not ‘€œMy honor’€.
Curly (Curly Howard) : Why? Don’€™t you like him?


Curly (Curly Howard) : I’€™m no mule.
Moe (Moe Howard) : No, your ears are too short.


[Larry shatters his violin]
Larry (Larry Fine) : Oh, my Stradavarius. Oh, my beautiful Stradavarius.


[With Curly taking the oath, the court clerk is speaking rapidly]
Curly (Curly Howard) : Are you trying to give me the double talk?


Judge: He’€™s asking you if you’€™ll swear to tell the truth.
Curly (Curly Howard) : Truth is stranger than fiction, Judgie-Wudgie.


Moe (Moe Howard) : You’€™re in court, not the woods, Tarzan.


Court clerk: I’€™ll SUE you for this.
Moe (Moe Howard) : Oh, sue-perstitious eh?


Judge: Please control your killing instincts.


Moe (Moe Howard) : [after Curly picks up all the jacks on one bounce of the ball] Hey! What’€™s the idea of spoiling the game?
Curly (Curly Howard) : I was for onesies.
Moe (Moe Howard) : Well here’€™s twosies.
[pokes Curly in eyes on ‘€œtwosies’€, and Curly responds in pain]
Larry (Larry Fine) : [sounding cute] He did a onesie, you give ‘€˜em two’€¦
[stops when he sees Moe looking at him angrily]
Moe (Moe Howard) : [to Larry] Here’€™s fivesies.
[smacks him]

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