Thanksgiving jokes

Rules for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving rules

Thanksgiving rules – Better listen to Grandma’s Thanksgiving rules … if you want to be invited back at Christmas!

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Thanksgiving Turkey

How to survive Thanksgiving at Liberal relatives

How to survive Thanksgiving at Liberal relatives – a few suggestions … ARRIVAL ‘€œYour home looks lovely. Almost like it’€™s worth what you paid for it. Obama didn’€™t help with that yet, did he? Oh, well, maybe next term. May I use your bathroom?’€ In the unlikely event that your host’€™s home has appreciated in […]

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You know you overdid Thanksgiving when

You Know You Overdid Thanksgiving When

You Know You Overdid Thanksgiving When – A list of signs that you may have eaten a *little* too much at Thanksgiving Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy. The ‘€œGravy Boat’€ your wife set out was a real 12’€™ boat.

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Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time

Everybody has trouble cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time — even so, this is ridiculous … The clown was spending his first Thanksgiving dinner apart from his family. Trying to make the most of the holiday, he prepared a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for himself. By himself. Alone. The next day, his mother called to […]

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Stuff a turkey

Stuff a turkey

The turkey shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair. It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom, then splattered all over the kitchen, completely obscuring the room.

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Twas the Night of Thanksgiving poem - enjoy the joke

Twas the Night of Thanksgiving

A poem, with apologies to Clement Moore’s ‘The Night Before Thanksgiving’, about Thanksgiving evening … ‘€™Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn’€™t sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep The leftovers beckoned — The dark meat and white, But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

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Finding the Thanksgiving turkey - frozen

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Funny Thanksgiving quotes from a variety of sources … my favorite is Erma Bombeck’s observation on how long it takes to prepare Thanksgiving dinner versus how long it takes to eat it … and why! Irv Kupcinet An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. H. W. […]

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Thanksgiving day weather forecast

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast – A weather forecast with 100% accuracy – for the fourth Thursday in November, aka Thanksgiving In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will […]

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Grandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey

Grandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey

On the way to Thanksgiving, the youngest grandchild calls on the way to her house: ‘€œGrandma, I can hardly wait to see that turkey, and the big smile on your face!’€ The grandmother replies, ‘€œWhich are you most excited to see?’€

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Things not to do at Thanksgiving

Things not to do at Thanksgiving – Frankly, this sounds like a list of things that my younger brother would do — please don’t! Fill your plate up, and then take it to the kitchen, toss all of the food into the blender, and take your “shake” back to the table. Announce that it’€™s the new Thanksgiving Weight […]

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