Lawyer jokes

Excused from jury duty

Excused from jury duty

Excused from jury duty – Not that I *recommend* this as a means of getting out of jury duty, of course … but it’s still funny!

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A lawyer pun

A lawyer pun

A lawyer pun A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year.  Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods […]

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Using lawyers instead of rats

Using lawyers instead of rats

The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged, and filed suit, but the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

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Lawyer and the tombstone

The Lawyer and the tombstone

A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury […]

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The Lawyer and the stolen car

The Lawyer and the stolen car

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. “Your Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. “Your honor,” he said, “I wanna get […]

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Why are the police lockers locked? You have to love this police officer, who politely schools the lawyer during court!

The cross-examination

The cross-examination … Some lawyers shouldn’t ask questions, really …

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Why are the police lockers locked? You have to love this police officer, who politely schools the lawyer during court!

Why are the police lockers locked?

Why are the police lockers locked? You have to love this police officer, who politely schools the lawyer during court!

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Lawyer jokes

Lawyer jokes

Collection of lawyer jokes – not that nice to lawyers, but very funny! Enjoy the jokes!

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ambulance

An ambulance chaser?

An ambulance chaser? Some lawyers are accused falsely of being ambulance chasers, while others …

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What were you doing in the gambling den?

What were you doing in the gambling den? Does the locksmith have a legitimate excuse? Judge: You are accused of gambling, how do you plead? Plaintiff: Not guilty, your honor. Judge: What’s your profession? Plaintiff: I’m a locksmith, your honor. Judge: And what were you doing in the gambling den, when it was being raided?

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