Funny quotes

Differences between men and women

Quotes about women

Quotes about women – Very funny, and all-too-often true, quotes about women, from a variety of sources

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Ozman’s Laws

Ozman’s Laws: If someone says he will do something “without fail,” he won’t. The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t. Pizza always burns the roof of your mouth.

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Mark Twain quote

The only way to keep your health

The only way to keep your health – a Mark Twain quote

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The difference between a misfortune and a calamity - Is it just me, or do I get the feeling that Disraeli didn't like Gladstone all that much?

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity – Is it just me, or do I get the feeling that Disraeli didn’t like Gladstone all that much?

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Quit shooting off your mouth

Quit shooting off your mouth

Quit shooting off your mouth – From the Abbott and Costello radio show, circa 1940-ish Lou Costello: Do you brush your teeth with gunpowder? Sid Fields: No. Lou Costello: Then quit shooting off your mouth!

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All progress depends on the unreasonable man

All progress depends on the unreasonable man – An excellent quote from George Bernard Shaw, on the nature of progress …

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Dress for success? Albert Einstein disproves that "the clothes make the man" in this funny anecdote!

Albert Einstein describes radio

Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: “You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat.  You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles.  Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there.  […]

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Funny quotes from Groucho and Me

Funny quotes from Groucho and Me

Groucho Marx was never more funny than in his autobiography,  Groucho and Me.   Here as some examples:

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Funny quotes about doctors - Quotes by various people (including Walter Matthau, Groucho Marx, and Steve Martin) on doctors and medicine.

Funny quotes about doctors

Funny quotes about doctors – Quotes by various people (including Walter Matthau, Groucho Marx, and Steve Martin) on doctors and medicine.

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Funny quotes from Groucho Marx

Funny quotes from Groucho Marx

Funny quotes from Groucho Marx, master of the one-liner Funny quotes from Groucho Marx — both from his most famous movies as one of the Marx Brothers (Duck Soup, A Day at the Races, A Night at the Opera, etc.) But what makes wage slaves? Wages! (Groucho Marx in The Cocoanuts, 1929) Don’t look now, […]

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