Doctor jokes

Leaving the hospital

Leaving the hospital

Leaving the hospital – Rules are rules – but sometimes the hospital nurse needs to listen to the patient.

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Why is the little girl so blue?

Why is the little girl so blue? What deep-rooted psychological problem is causing the young girl to draw everything blue? Patricia’s parents received a note from her second-grade teacher. “Patricia is a wonderful student,” the note read, “but in art class, or when we have coloring projects, she draws everything dark blue. The grass is […]

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Funny quotes about doctors - Quotes by various people (including Walter Matthau, Groucho Marx, and Steve Martin) on doctors and medicine.

A man being treated for pneumonia

A man being treated for pneumonia – just listen to your doctor! A man, being treated by his doctor for pneumonia, went to speak to his physician.  “Doctor, are you absolutely certain that I’m suffering from pneumonia?  I’ve read about a doctor who was treating a patient for pneumonia, only to have the patient eventually […]

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Dr. Geezer's medical clinic

Dr. Geezer’s medical clinic

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.” Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be […]

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Doctor, Doctor Christmas Jokes

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery

Things you don’t want to hear during surgery – and we hope you never do! Oops! Come back with that! Bad dog! Hand me that … uh … that uh … Nurse, what do they call that pointed thingy again? Dang, there go the lights again. Wow!  I never saw one of those before! You […]

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Funny quotes about doctors - Quotes by various people (including Walter Matthau, Groucho Marx, and Steve Martin) on doctors and medicine.

Verdict or Sentence?

Verdict or sentence? When the man asks his doctor for a verdict … enjoy! The patient asked, “Well, doctor, now that you’ve given me a complete physical, what’s the verdict?” The doctor replied, “Well, the bad news is:

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Do I have to give up wine, women and song? Not the answer that he was looking for!

Do I have to give up wine, women and song?

Do I have to give up wine, women and song? Not the answer that he was looking for!

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Rorschach test - all of those naughty pictures

All of those naughty pictures

All of those naughty pictures – Not what you might think …

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Cardiologist's funeral

Cardiologist’s funeral

Cardiologist’s funeral – how could this beautiful funeral cause one of the mourners to laugh out loud? Enjoy the joke!

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Pope

Bob knows everybody

Bob knows everybody – Do you know one of those annoying people who claims that they know everyone? What if it was true?

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